Several songs came to mind as I read the pages for this week's SoC: Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb and Paul Simon's I Am a Rock are the two most striking.
While last week's pages highlighted the phenomenon of intellectual rationalizations that seek to avoid the deep and fundamental needs of the heart, this week and next week we're working on practical ways that we distract ourselves from these questions: a certain kind of stoicism, the use of alcohol and drugs, keeping ourselves busy, etc.
This week we focus on stoicism and psychoactive substances, each of which I have quite a bit of experience with. As I've said before, though: it's never productive when I use SoC to look at my own faults and failings, but it's especially unhelpful when I look at those of others.
I have a friend who is going through a tremendous grief at the moment. Today I asked him, "Why would God allow this to happen?"
He answered, "I've been wondering the same thing."
Me: "We need to keep asking him. Either there is an answer (one of Love), or he's a lie. I don't believe in 'blind faith,' and I never will."
I also gave an example of a time when I was suffering a great grief and asked this same question of God. I told him one thing I discovered at that time, but I did not try to provide it as an answer to his suffering.
One consequence of having this conversation is that I've spent the whole day thinking about my current situation – this infection, which seems to be resistant to the oral antibiotics I was given, which is regaining strength, and which will likely land me in the hospital again. Why is God allowing it? What purpose can it serve? How will it help me to grow in Love? How is it a sign of Love for me?
To be in the position of wondering in front of my situation helps me to stay alive and open. I have had enough experience with asking these kinds of questions to know to ask them with hope. I mean that I know that at least provisional answers will come (I may need to wait until the full flowering of the Kingdom before I discover the full meaning of all these things, but I know that God will show me enough glimmers and traces of meaning to help me take the next steps with curiosity, confidence, and certainty). I don't know that the same thing is true for my friend. He isn't a Christian, and he is quite a bit younger than I am. He's also had many devastating and unjust things happen to him, but until now, he hasn't had anyone to accompany him in asking these questions. How will this unfold for him? I don't know. I will try to be a real friend by continuing to ask the questions with him. He might appreciate this or he might pull away from the friendship. Everything depends on whether he recognizes something of value in these questions. I think this is a risk that always exists.
So I think two things are essential: at least one friend who will accompany us in our need as we ask the fundamental questions AND the ability to recognize something of value in keeping these questions open.
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