The Substitution of Questions with Willpower
The three examples Giussani gives feel pretty impenetrable, so I'm going to try to give examples that are "closer to home."
1. Personal Praxis
I need to clean my house because it will reflect well on me when people see what a great housekeeper I am. They will be jealous. They might even hate me for being so much tidier than they are. I can live with their dislike because I will know (and they will know, too!) that I'm superior to them.
2. Utopianism
I need to clean my house because the world is going to hell in a hand basket and only a few can maintain order and live clutter-free. The world should reward the few who can hold to this higher standard, even if it's not possible for many. There is this ideal that must be maintained, or at least we must strive after it, even if the world is a dark and very cluttered place.
3. The Social Project
I need to clean my house because it's the right thing to do, for the good of society. I will start a coop of moms who encourage one another to get their houses clean. Together we will realize a dream of clean living. Why? Because it's obvious: a clean house makes me feel better/makes us feel better! Kids get less asthma in clean houses. People can be more productive in clean houses.
I don't know if these examples help.
I have experienced these three kinds of willpower. I can think of different examples from my life. The problem is that I hate when SoC gets "confessional" and we wind up talking about all the ways in which we screw up. So I want to ask the question: what happens when INSTEAD of relying on willpower, we live according to "the stimulating energy of the 'elementary experience,' that 'goad [that] drives me on,'"?
When I remember that Christ is Goodness, Truth, Love, Beauty, Mercy, etc made flesh, and I seek to see traces of these qualities in those I meet so as to find the face of Christ "hidden" or obscured within the faces of the people around me, the world becomes a great miracle and life becomes an adventure.
This time of recovery has offered many opportunities to be tempted toward willpower: I can tough this out... If I can just get through this day... Keep your stamina up, Suzanne... But things fall apart when I try to rely on willpower. And I can taste resentment between my teeth.
Lately, I've been thinking about Passover, and my favorite prayer that Jews sing during the Seder: Dayenu. This word means, "It would have been enough," or "It would have sufficed." Here are the zany Maccabeats singing their version of the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZgDNPGZ9Sg
If He had brought us out of Egypt, it would have been enough
If He had split the sea for us, it would have been enough If He had led us through on dry land, it would have been enough If He had provided for our needs in the wilderness for 40 years, it would have been enough If He had fed us manna, it would have been enough
If He had led us to Mount Sinai, it would have been enough If He had given us the Torah, it would have been enough If He had brought us into the Land of Israel, it would have been enough If He built the Temple for us, it would have been enough
it would have been enough.
I've been substituting the experiences of the Hebrew people with my experiences in various friendships. For example, in meeting Caroline (but I have been doing this with each one of you): It would have been enough if Caroline had brought new life to the Pittsburgh SoC... It would have been enough if Caroline had been willing to attend national events... It would have been enough if Caroline had wanted to visit me and help me with the Studio... It would have been enough if Caroline had joined Visitation... It would have been enough if Caroline had come to various events in Steubenville... It would have been enough if Caroline had written beautiful witnesses for the CL Newsletter... etc.
Only God could have accomplished all the wonders that the Hebrew people experienced in the Exodus, and only Christ could accomplish the wonders (each of which is an instance of Goodness, Truth, Love, Beauty, Mercy, etc.) that have threaded through my friendship with Caroline (and with the rest of you, too). To see Christ means joy for my heart and gratitude filling my thoughts: and then the things I need to accomplish throughout the day become easy and light.
Thus willpower, in all its ugly forms, loses.
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